Rosemary

the end of the affair?

MY HUSBAND has a mind of his own. It’s a most unappealing trait in a spouse, but we’ve been together for thirty-one years now and his warranty expired a long time ago, so it’s too late to do anything about it. He’s got an opinion on almost everything, so all domestic decisions, no matter how trivial, have to go through a robust round of negotiations on the scale of UN peacekeeping talks. Debate and compromise are our daily diet. If we were to use the energy we expend in these discussions actually getting anything done we would by now be the managers of a successful multinational corporation. We’re not.

Photo by Kaleidico on Unsplash

When I protest that everything should not be this hard, he says he has a right to an opinion. That’s debatable, but if I say so it will just make me look autocratic so I roll my eyes and commence my opening arguments in the matter of why, for example, I think we need to do laundry today, like some bewigged KC at the Old Bailey. By the time I get to the summing-up I could have washed it, dried it, ironed it and hung it back in the wardrobe. (Well, I only iron when I’m going on holiday, but you get the idea).

I’m not always right - not always - and I am usually ready to listen to opposing arguments and, when confronted with evidence of a compelling nature, consider a tactical withdrawal. Even so, there’s been an ongoing negotiation where all avenues have finally been exhausted, and I’m sad to say, we’ve reached deadlock. He has stood his ground, let his heart rule his head, and nothing I can say will convince him that an extra-marital relationship that he has been conducting for the last three-and-a-half years has run its course. It’s over, but he just can’t accept it. I think I’m an understanding wife, but I’m fast losing patience: it’s time for him to face the music and move on.